Your Story, Your Terms

At Not Just One, we believe that survivors should always maintain control over how their experiences are shared. The research is clear: having agency in the telling of your story is essential for avoiding retraumatization.

As noted by trauma researchers Delker and Salton (2020), the developmental shift from “victim” to “survivor-advocate” should be empowering, not disempowering. Your pace, your boundaries, and your voice matter.

Creating Your Safety Plan for Sharing

If you’re considering sharing your story, a personalized safety plan might include:

• Emotional preparation: Working with a therapist on coping strategies for potential triggers
• Physical safety considerations: Addressing any concerns about privacy or potential retaliation
• Digital safety measures: Understanding how to protect your online presence if needed
• Support scheduling: Planning check-ins before and after sharing experiences
• Self-care protocols: Specific actions you’ll take to care for yourself throughout the process

Starting Small

Many survivors find it helpful to begin with smaller, more controlled sharing experiences before considering wider advocacy. This might include:

• Journaling privately about your experience
• Sharing with one trusted person
• Participating anonymously in trauma research
• Joining a confidential support group
• Contributing to advocacy efforts without sharing personal details

Resources for Your Journey

If you’re considering sharing your story, these resources might help:

• National support hotlines specific to your experience
• Trauma-informed therapists familiar with narrative approaches
• Survivor advocacy organizations with ethical storytelling practices
• Digital security resources for protecting your privacy
• Legal resources regarding privacy rights

Remember: Your Story Belongs to You

The decision to share your experience is yours alone, and that choice can be revisited at any time. Your story is valuable whether it’s shared with one person, with many, or kept private as part of your personal healing journey.

As the Foundation for Social Connection reminds us, meaningful connection with others is a fundamental human need that supports healing (Foundation for Social Connection, 2024). However you choose to connect and share, doing so on your own terms is what matters most.

References:

Delker, B. C., Salton, R., McLean, K. C. (2020). Giving Voice to Silence: Empowerment and Disempowerment in the Developmental Shift from Trauma ‘Victim’ to ‘Survivor-Advocate’. Journal of Trauma & Dissociation, 21(2), 242-263.

Foundation for Social Connection. (2024). The Healing Effects of Social Connection and Community. Retrieved from https://www.endsocialisolation.org/the-healing-effects-of-social-connection-and-community/

HelpGuide.org. (2024). Emotional and Psychological Trauma. Retrieved from https://www.helpguide.org/articles/ptsd-trauma/coping-with-emotional-and-psychological-trauma.htm

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. (2014). Trauma-Informed Care in Behavioral Health Services. Treatment Improvement Protocol (TIP) Series 57. HHS Publication No. (SMA) 13-4801.